The One Thing Every Mom of an Infant/Toddler Needs

If you’re a mom, I’m sure you remember preparing for the birth of your child. You may have written out a list or made mental notes of the necessities you’d need: clothes, a crib, bottles, bibs, toys, teethers; this list goes on.

Even as I sit here as a mom of a toddler, I have things I need for myself and my daughter, like coffee, naptime at 1pm (of course I’m talking about her naptime...maybe lol, toilet training strategies, and behavior management and conflict resolution tips to handle tantrums and meltdowns. 

When I was pregnant with my first child, most of things or ideas I mentioned above were on my mind as thought about what it would be like when my daughter arrived and what the first few years of her life would look like.

But there was one thing I never considered and I didn’t know how crucial it would be until I experienced it.

At this point in my parenting journey, with a toddler girl and a baby boy on the way, I have no ideas how I could function without this critical component in my life.

So what do I find so important, dare I say priceless and necessary, in my journey through motherhood?  

My MOMSQUAD!

What Is A Mom Squad?

This is a group of moms you have formed a close friendship with. These moms have a child or children around the same age as your child/children. These are ladies you can confide in, ask questions to, meet up at playdates with, and talk real talk about parenthood.

Why Do You Need A Mom Squad?

-Sanity. Motherhood can be so isolating, especially during your child’s infant stage. Having a friend or two to text with or share Instagram memes in the middle of the night during feedings reminded me I wasn’t alone or going through this stage by myself.

-Encouragement. Parenting is hard and confusing. I second guess multiple decisions I make for my daughter each day. It’s priceless to have people in your corner to tell you your child is awesome and that you’re doing a great job. 

-Camaraderie. It’s such a reassuring feeling when you talk to your squad and find out your child isn’t the only one not sleeping through the night, or yelling “no” to every request, or throwing tantrums in the middle of Target. There is a level of trust there that allows you all to share the “not so cute” parts of motherhood.

-Friendship. Moms are people too and we need friends. Motherhood isn’t our only role and it’s good for us to have friends to talk to about our relationships, jobs, favorite reality tv shows, and yes, our kids. 

Squad Qualifications

In order for the squad to function at its maximum level of benefit, all members should agree to:

-Being judgement free: Each mom is different and our children are all different. It is most helpful to all squad members for everyone to assume that each mom is doing the best she can, making the best choices she can for her child/children, and can be free to handle difficult situations with their child, when with the group, without fear of judgement (that last is one of greatest kindness you can give another mom)

-Be a listening ear not a talking head: Squad members need to be able to talk to each other. And most times, we just need to get it out; we don’t necessarily want advice or another perspective. Provide that space and time for your fellow members.

-Be a “safe space” during group playtimes: Children develop in different ways at different times and moms see that very clearly during children’s playgroups and activities. It’s easy to feel bad or defensive if your child isn’t doing some of the things other children are. Allow your “mom squad playgroup” be a time to celebrate each of your children’s victories and growths, help your children learn how to play and interact together and don’t take offense if one or more of the kids isn’t behaving the best. Treat the child and the mom with an abundance of patience and kindness in order to downplay what could be an uncomfortable situation.

Where Can You Find Squad Members?

If you don’t already have mom friends, here’s where you can find your own squad members:

-Your own street or neighborhood.

-Your church or place of worship

-Your local library’s children’s story time groups

-Your local playgrounds

-Local playgroups

-Your child’s daycare or early learning center

What about moms with school age children? Don’t they need a squad too?

Um, absolutely. I wrote this specifically for moms of infants and toddlers because I believe it’s so beneficial to mom and child/children to have these relationships in place as early as possible. There is so much uncertainty and worry, especially for new moms, in those first few years, that the squad can be a key component to keeping mom sane. 

And besides, I’m assuming that moms of school age children already have their squad in place.  If you don’t, I don’t know how you survive this long without it. 

My Mom Squad is the thing I didn’t know that I needed and it’s the thing I don’t ever want to do motherhood without. Each “squad mom” is unique and fantastic and I can’t imagine doing life without them. And not only are they some of my biggest cheerleaders, they are also cheerleaders for my child. And nothing makes this momma’s heart more full than seeing my child being loved well by people who don’t have to but choose to. It is a gift.