How I’m Surviving With An Infant and A Preschooler

After 4 days in the hospital, I walked through my front door as my husband carried our newborn son in his car seat. We greeted our 3 year old daughter (who had just spent 4 days wearing out my wonderful parents) and began our new lives as a family of four. 

After a week and a couple of days with my husband home and help and support from family, it was time for me to go it alone. Yup. Take care of both kids by myself. 

Taking care of a three year old is a full time job by itself. Adding an infant seemed almost overwhelming. How was I going to deal with the demands of a preschooler and the needs of an infant?

My infant son is two months now and I’m surviving one day at a time. Here’s how:

I’ve had to learn to ask for help.

THIS is super hard for me. I’ve always had trouble asking for help. And when it comes to my children, I tend to feel like it’s my responsibility to figure out how to care for them. But caring for two young children is exhausting and at times it feels impossible if both children need you at the same time. 

I’ve learned that in order to keep my stress level low and my sanity in tact, I’ve had to accept and ask for help from my husband, my parents and friends. Recently I’ve accepting my husband’s help getting our daughter up and dressed each morning. I’m grateful for his sacrifice of time, which has made my mornings less stressful.

I also called on a friend, who has two kids of her own, to watch my daughter when my son was ill and had to be taken to the doctor’s. She was happy to be able to help and my daughter had a fun, impromptu playdate while I took care of my son. It was a great weight lifted because I had the courage to just ask. 

I do something for me each day

Most times we as moms put ourselves last on the list. Not because we want to. Many times because that’s what’s necessary. I struggle with whether I should put myself first on my list at this stage of my life. But what I am certain of is that I need to put myself ON the list and do something for myself each day. That could mean an hour Target run on a weekend when my husband can take care of the kids. Or a cup of coffee and a half hour show on tv while the kids are napping. Or an extra long shower in between the baby’s feedings and while my toddler watches a show in my bedroom on the iPad. Whatever it may be, it has made all the difference to just find a little space for me each day.

I start the day with a positive thought

Whether it’s a positive affirmation about myself or life in general, or reading a bible verse, it makes a world of difference for me if I start my morning by taking five minutes focusing on something positive and inspiring. I am not usually my best self in the morning and those five minutes of positivity help to ward off negative thoughts and impatience.

I try to give myself grace

Life with two young children is hard. Period. Full stop. I’ve had to come to terms and be ok with the fact that I was not going to be able to do some of the things I did when I only had one child. Fun crafts, bi-monthly play dates and daily educational activities with my daughter have been replaced by Super Why, Super Simple Songs, and Sesame Street while I take care of her infant brother. It’s been important for me to give myself grace, come to terms with my present reality and rethink and readjust my standards for what a successful day looks like.

I try to be flexible

I love me a schedule and a routine, but it’s hard to maintain that successfully when there’s an infant in the mix. And in this season of life, I have to be ok with that and know that a new routine and schedule will emerge as he gets older. I also have to be ok with changing plans and cancelling scheduled appointments or outings when necessary.

The other day I canceled my daughter’s speech session because she was having a behaviorally challenging morning and I had a hunch that the session wouldn’t be productive. The type A in me felt awful to cancel but I did and we went to the playground instead. It proved to be the right choice, as my toddler had the best time. She ended up trying some different equipment on the playground and left really proud of herself and her new skills. I’m glad I chose to listen to my mommy instincts and made the uncomfortable choice to cancel. The fresh air and her new playground achievement was exactly what our day needed. 

Being a mom to a preschooler and an infant is one of the most mentally and physically challenging things I have ever done. And it’s also one of the most rewarding and fulfilling. These five strategies have helped me to survive thus far and if you’re in a similar situation, I hope they help you too.

Are you or were you a mom of an infant and a preschooler at the same time? How did you survive? 

The more tips, strategies, knowledge, and wisdom, the better. 

Comment below if you have something to share.