Teacher / Mother / Writer - A Portfolio

Just as soon as I finished writing about how I’m surviving normal, everyday life with an infant and a preschooler, the coronavirus crisis took hold of the entire country. Schools are closed, daycares are shut down, churches and other gathering places have been told not to assemble and many parents are either working from home or not working at all. I stay at home with my children but we are feeling the virus’ effects as well. My 3 year old daughter goes to preschool two days a week and attends the children’s program at our church on Sundays. Those options are no longer available for the foreseeable future. After recently thinking through how I would generally survive on a normal day to day basis, I wanted to think through how to survive this time where playdates aren’t an option and other public outlets are unavailable.  And I wanted to share this with those of you who are stay at home parents in a similar situation as me or working parents of small ones who will now b...

After 4 days in the hospital, I walked through my front door as my husband carried our newborn son in his car seat. We greeted our 3 year old daughter (who had just spent 4 days wearing out my wonderful parents) and began our new lives as a family of four.  After a week and a couple of days with my husband home and help and support from family, it was time for me to go it alone. Yup. Take care of both kids by myself.  Taking care of a three year old is a full time job by itself. Adding an infant seemed almost overwhelming. How was I going to deal with the demands of a preschooler and the needs of an infant? My infant son is two months now and I’m surviving one day at a time. Here’s how: I’ve had to learn to ask for help. THIS is super hard for me. I’ve always had trouble asking for help. And when it comes to my children, I tend to feel like it’s my responsibility to figure out how to care for them. But caring for two young children is exhausting and at tim...

Dear Camille,  As I write this, I am 38 weeks and 5 days pregnant with “brother”.  (We haven’t told you his name yet because we’re keeping it secret and you’re talking so much these days that daddy and I think you would slip and tell it if we told you).  When brother is born, things are going to change so much for all of us and I just want to tell you what I hope for you in these next few weeks, months, and years. When you were born, daddy and I were so excited. You were gorgeous from day one. You were born through a C-section and you were tongue-tied so we had trouble breastfeeding. You had reflux issues and as much as we thought we were prepared for you to enter our lives, it was hard work taking care of you those first few months. My body was healing and there was so much to learn about you; your likes and dislikes, how to best feed you, how to best care for you, and on top of that, we were really really tired. But you brought us so much joy and all of the h...

Before I had a child of my own and even when my daughter was an infant, if I went to a store or anywhere out in public and saw a toddler rolling around on the ground, throwing a tantrum, I would judge the mom.  “That kid needs some discipline.” “What a brat” “Look at that little spoiled kid mad because he can’t get what he wants.” “His mom needs to do something with him.” And these are only some of the thoughts I’d have.  And if I’m really being honest, I would judge white mothers differently than black mothers. I grew up thinking and hearing that white parents were much more lenient with their children than black parents. So when I saw a white child acting up I would think “This is annoying but not surprising; I don’t know why they let their kids act like that.” But when I saw black kids behaving badly in public, internally I was judging and shaming the mom. “She knows better than to have her kids out here actin’ up like this.” “If I were her, I would....” Bu...

There are many unfortunate situations where a mother isn’t present in her adult child’s life; she may have never been around or she may not have been know to her child, or she may have passed away. My situation is different because my mom is alive, but she’s not always present.  I know that there is nothing more she would want than to be present in my life consistently. Her granddaughter just turned 3 and is so much fun and she will soon welcome a new grandson in January. She has longed to be a grandmother for longer than she ever let on to me and these should be the best years of her life.  My mother suffers from mental illness. She battles depression, anxiety, and psychotic episodes.  Since 2000, she’s been in and out of hospitals and mental health facilities fighting this illness. She usually goes stretches of years without incident or symptoms and then, usually, out of the blue, we’ll notice that she’s not so talkative, she’s increasingly nervous, and...

If you’re a mom, I’m sure you remember preparing for the birth of your child. You may have written out a list or made mental notes of the necessities you’d need: clothes, a crib, bottles, bibs, toys, teethers; this list goes on. Even as I sit here as a mom of a toddler, I have things I need for myself and my daughter, like coffee, naptime at 1pm (of course I’m talking about her naptime...maybe lol, toilet training strategies, and behavior management and conflict resolution tips to handle tantrums and meltdowns.  When I was pregnant with my first child, most of things or ideas I mentioned above were on my mind as thought about what it would be like when my daughter arrived and what the first few years of her life would look like. But there was one thing I never considered and I didn’t know how crucial it would be until I experienced it. At this point in my parenting journey, with a toddler girl and a baby boy on the way, I have no ideas how I could function without ...